Last Saturday, 13 November 2010, 24 Juniors and Seniors of the Ateneo de Manila High School attended the Meet the Jesuits (MTJ) session. For one full day, it was all about knowing the Jesuits, and their stages of religious formation.
The AHS students listened to many Jesuit vocation stories and visited the following Jesuit formation houses: the Jesuit Residence , where a hearty lunch was served, the Loyola House of Studies where they went up to "Titanic", and the Arrupe International Residence, where the AHS students had recreation and met young scholastics from Myanmar and East Timor. The day ended at the Arvisu Pre-Novitiate House at Varsity Hills, where the Sunday anticipated Mass was celebrated.
Many thanks to the Jesuit Vocation Promotion Team, Bro. Jody Magtoto, S.J, Fr. Manny Perez, S.J., Fr. Bill Kreutz, S.J., Fr. Jun Viray, S.J., Fr. Lester Maramara, S.J., Fr. Xavier Olin, S.J., Fr. Eli Lumbo, S.J. and the Jesuit Pre-novices at the Arvisu House.
The MTJ was a sneak peek into the life of the Jesuits. We hope that some day, many AHS students choose the priestly vocation, and serve the Lord by becoming a Jesuit.
Naaalala ko nu’ng magkasalubong kami ni Fr. Eli Lumbo, ang ating APFor. Sabi niya sa ‘kin, “Ron, sa Nobyembre, buwan ni Saint Stanislaus Kostka. Bagay yata na Office of Student Activities ang manguna sa Monday reflections.“ Ang sagot ko naman agad, “Sure, Father.” At mabilis lang, naghiwalay na kami at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
Saka ko naisip, “Student Activities at St. Stanislaus Kostka?”. Hmm, hindi naman mahirap hagilapinang kaugnayan ng dalawa. Una, si San Estanislao ay estudyante at teenager, ang pinakabatang santo sa Kapisanan ni Hesus. Sa loob lamang ng labingwalong taon, naabot niya ang kabanalang hindi basta naaabot ng mga nakatatanda noong panahon niya, o kahit ng matatanda ngayon sa panahon natin. Kaya naman si St. Stanislaus Kostka mismo ang pintakasi (o patron saint) ng Mataas na Paaralang Ateneo. Isa kasi siyang huwarang binata. Isang tinitingalang halimbawa. Kamangha-mangha.
Isa pa, sa kaniya rin kinuha ang pangalan ng ating parangal para sa kabutihang asal at kaginoohandito sa Mataas na paaralang Ateneo. Napakadisiplinadong binata rin kasi ni San Estanislao; mabait na kasapi ng pamilya, mabait na kaibigan at seminarista, madasalin, at palaiwas sa gulo at tukso. Kagiliw-giliw. Kagiliw-giliw. Batang Santo. Pintakasi. Kamangha-mangha. Banal. Huwaran ng Kabutihang-asal.
Ano pa ba ang mga astig na bagay ang masasabi tungkol kay San Estanislao? Nariyan pang nagpakita sa kaniya ang Mahal na Birhen noong maysakit siya dahil taimtim siyang nagdasal na makatanggap ng sakramento kahit ayaw pumayag noon ng kumukupkop sa kaniya. Nariyan ding hindi nagbagong-anyo ang kanyang mga labi kahit tatlong taon na siyang sumakabilang-buhay. Kakaiba talaga. Katangi-tangi.
Aba, makikitang lampas na lampas pa siya sa pagiging basta estudyante lang. Kahit hindi larangan ng Student Activities, mayroon at mayroong makikitang kaugnayan kay San Estanislao. Kaya naman minsan tuloy, mas naididiin kung paano siyang naiiba sa karaniwang binatilyo. Kaya tuloy minsan, hindi natin siya magamit na halimbawa ng estudyanteng karaniwan. Nasasabi tuloy natin kung minsan, “Iba naman kasi si Kostka. Santo siya, e.”
Kaya para naman maiba, subukin natin siyang pag-usapan ngayon bilang karaniwang teenager. Imbes na banggitin kung ano ang mga nagtatangi sa kanya sa iba pang bata, pansinin natin ngayon kung anu-ano ang naghahawig sa kanya sa mga kaedad niyang tulad ninyo.
Tulad ng marami sa inyo, mahirap dinsiyang awatin. Ayaw niyang paawat. Gustung-gusto niyang pumasok sa Kapisanan ni Hesus sa napakabatang gulang. Ayaw ng tatay niya. Ayaw rin ng Direktor ng seminaryo sa lugar nila. Pero ayaw niyang paawat, naglakad siya ng napakahabang distansiya, nagbalatkayong pulubi habang naglalakbay, dahil determinado siyang mag-Heswita, kahit sa ibang seminaryo pa sa labas ng kaniyang bayan. Parang kayo rin, ilang beses nang sinabing huwag sumali sa ganyang komite, huwag kang mag-volunteer sa ganyang proyekto, huwag maging aktibo sa ganyang samahang pangmag-aaral, huwag nang ituloy’yan dahil naman required. Pero ayaw paawat. Kahit may tiis at dusa, ayaw niyong papigil kung buung-buo na ang loob niyong tumugon sa isang tawag. Batang-bata. Kostkang-Kostka.
Tulad din ninyo, may mga nagpapamiserable rin sa buhay niya. Alam ba ninyong binu-bully parati si Kostka noon? Hindi ng mga kamag-aral o kaibigan niya, kundi ng Kuya niya. Kaya naman mas mahirap dahil hindi talaga niya matatakasan. Lagi siyang inaalaska, inuutusan, binubuntal. Pero hindi siya pinanghinaan ng loob, tulad ng marami sa inyo. Hindi kayo pumapatol sa mga bully. Lalo na kung alam ninyo ang inyong halaga, ang inyong mga pagpapahalaga, ang inyong mga pangarap. Alam kasi ninyo kung sino kayo. At dahil doon, hindi kayang sirain ng kanyang Kuya ang diskarte ni Kostka. Parang siya na nga ang naging mas matanda at parang hinihintay na lang niyang tumanda rin ang kuya niya. Hindi siya pumatol, hindi siya nasira dahil dito. Kaya tuloy, nu’ng mamatay si Kostka, ang kuya niya ang pinakahumagulgol. At dahil sa masidhing pag-ibig sa nakababata niyang kapatid, hinangad din niyang mag-Heswita gaya ng kanyang kapatid.
At tulad uli ninyo, wala naman espesyal o kakaibang pagkakataon si San Estanislao na maging mabuti. Payak at karaniwan din lang ang mga pagkakataong mayro’n siya. Hindi siya bayani ng digmaan; hindi rin nagpakamartir para sa pananampalataya; hindi naman umakda ng aklat; hindi rin siya naghimala. Wala lang. Karaniwan. Nang makapasok nga siya sa seminaryo, tuwang- tuwa siya dahil mithiin talaga niya ‘yon. Pero ang naging trabaho niya sa seminary kalaunan ay tagawalis ng sahig. Biruin n’yo ‘yon. Liban sa pagdarasal, ang umuubos sa panahon niya ay pagwawalis ng sahig. Parang mas kapana-panabik pa yata ang magbura ng pisara, o mag-class beadle, o mag-prayer leader, o mag-treasurer, o mag-Logistics Committee ng SophComm, o mag- Programs Committee ng Fair o mag-Org Head, o mag-Varsity, kaysa maging tagawalis ng sahig. Pero huwag ka, isa sa mga pinakasikat na hirit ni Kostka ay, "I find a heaven in the midst of saucepans and brooms." (2x). “May nasusumpungan akong langit sa mga dustpan at walis.” Pilyo man at parang walang galang, puwede ring masabing, “Aba, aba, aba! Dinaan ni Kostka sa pagwawalis ang paghantong sa langit.”
O sige nga. Ikaw. Buuin mo nga ngayon sa isip mo ang sarili mong bersiyon ng hirit ni Kostka. “ Dadaanin ko sa (blank) ang paghantong sa langit.” Hindi kailangang humanap ng bago o espesyal na gawain. Kahit ‘yung mga natitipuhan at kayang-kaya mo na ngayon, puwede na ‘yon. Halimbawa: Dadaanin ko sa “pag-aaral sa pagsusulit” ang paghantong sa langit. Dadaanin ko sa “pagtulong sa Palig” ang paghantong sa langit. Dadaanin ko sa “pagsisinop ng basura” ang paghantong sa langit. Dadaanin ko sa “pagbati sa mga nakakasalubong ko” ang paghantong sa langit. Dadaanin ko sa “pagsisimba tuwing alas-siyete ng umaga” ang paghantong sa langit. At iba pa.
Basta dapat sana, mayroon kang Layunin o yayakaping Gawain o Paglilingkod, gaano man kaliit. Layunin o Gawain o Paglilingkod. Na siyang magtutulak sa iyong higit pang kumayod at higit pang magdasal. Dahil kasi sa mga mithiin, lumalakas tuloy ang iyong pagkayod, lumalakas tuloy ang iyong pagdarasal, at hindi ka kayang tumbahin ng mga pumipigil sa iyo, ng mga nambu-bully at umaalaska sa ‘yo, ng kasimplehan at kahinaan ng papel na naitakda sa ‘yo. ‘Yun siguro ang kitang-kita kay Kostka. Minamalaki niya ang mga pagkakataong naibibigay sa kaniya. “Anuman ‘to, magiging daan ko ito patungong langit. Yayakapin at mamahalin ko ito, ipagdarasal ko ito, at ako ang magiging pinakamahusay at magiting na tagawalis ng sahig.” Ganyan na ganyan din ang tinatawag nating Magis dito sa Ateneo. Hindi nadaraan sa dami o laki ng nagawa, kundi sa pag-ibig na ibinuhos sa ginawa. Love lang talaga ang Magis. Sabi nga: Lab talaga, at hindi Labis, ang Magis.
Sa halimbawa ni San Estanislao, nakikita nating tila mas masahol pa ang tumunganga kaysa magkamali. Marami yatang mga santo ang nadapa rin at nagkamali. Pero walang santong tumunganga. Lahat ng mga santo, nabuhay nang buhay na buhay. At huwag ka sanang tutunganga dahil kayo mo ring mabuhay nang buhay na buhay. Kung 1st year ka, namnamin mo ang mga iniaalok ng buhay- 1st year. Kung 2nd year, 3rd year o 4th year ka, sairin mo ang bulalo ng buhay-2nd year,3rd year o 4th year. Magising ka sana. Magsigla ka. Mabuhay. Ikagat mo nang malalim ang iyong mga ngipin sa anumang gawaing maaari mong pagbuhusan ng sarili at maaaring magtulak sa ‘yo sa taimtim na pagdarasal. Tingnan mo ang kinatawan ng klase mo sa Palig, ang IndAK, ang SophComm, ang Serye-Kabataan, ang mga sumali sa KLIK, at maraming iba pa. Buhay na buhay sila ngayon. Kayod nang kayod at dasal nang dasal sila ngayon dahil may pinili silang yakaping munting paglilingkod. “I find a heaven in the midst of saucepans and brooms.” Lahat ng nakapaligid sa iyong pagkakataon ngayon, malaki man o maliit, nag-aanyaya tungo sa kabanalan. Hindi na hinintay ni San Estanislao ang mga hamong malalaki at pangmatanda; naging santo siya sa pag-atupag sa mga simpleng gawain niya bilang isang binata.
Sa huli, San Estanislao Kostka AT mga Gawaing Pangmag-aaral: magkaugnay na magkaugnay nga. Pagiging Banal AT Pagiging Bata: hindi pala sila malayo o magkasalungat. Santo AT Binatilyo: dahil kay San Estanislao Kostka, alam na nating puwedeng-puwedeng magsabay ang dalawa.
Manalangin tayo. (sign of the cross)
Panginoon, Itulot po Ninyo, Na ang mga larangang aming sinusulit, gaano man sila kasikip, gaanoman sila kapuno ng pasakit, gaano man sila kayaman sa balakid, gaano man sila kapayak at kaliit,nang dahil sa aming pag-ibig at pananalig, ay maghatid nawa sa amin sa langit. Amen
San Estanislao Kostka, Ipanalangin mo kami. (sign of the cross). Magandang umaga, mga binata!
Magandang umaga, mga Atenista.Ako si Chot, mula sa klaseng 4B, ang inyong Sanggu Chairman.At nagpapasalamat ako sa APFor sa pagkakataong itong manguna sa pagninilay, sa umagang ito ng pangalawang araw matapos ang ating sembreak.At malamang kaisa ko kayo sa pagsabing,
“Bitin!”, “Nakakatamad pa.”, “Ang ikli naman.”, “SEMBREAK BA ‘YON?”. Kahapon, kinukwenta ko kung gaano nga ba talaga kahaba (o kaikli) yung “bakasyong” kalilipas lamang. Pitong araw lang. Kaso, isa doon sa pito, nagamit sa kakatrabaho para sa mga nakatambak na proyekto at gawaing bahay sa iba’t ibang asignatura at, para naman sa mga guro, sa pagwawasto ng mga proyekto’t pagsusulit ng mga mag-aaral.
Isa pang araw naman para sa pagpunta sa probinsya para bisitahin ang puntod ng mga sumakabilang-buhay na kamag-anak at mahal-sa-buhay. At ang dalawa roon, ang Sabado at Linggo, ay talaga namang wala dapat pasok. At para sa mga guro naman, maaari pa sigurong mabawasan ng isa pa, gawa ng pamamahinga nang isang buong araw matapos ang pagod at saya sa mga pangyayari noong Delaney-Duffy Day rito sa Ateneo at sa Trinoma.
Pitong araw nga ba? Mukhang hihirit ang karamihang mga tatlo o dalawang araw lang siguro. Mukhang bitin nga.
Ngunit, bago niyo pa ako tulugan sa limang minutong nakalaan para sa pagninilay na ito, sa pagnanais ninyong pahabain pa ang sembreak na bitin, hinihiling ko sa inyo na gumising! Gising na tayo, mga kapatid kong Atenista!Kalahati pa ng taon ang hinaharap nating lahat! At kung sa limang minutong ito, ay hindi mo pa makuhang buhayin ang sarili, baka maiwanan ka ng mabilis na paglipas ng panahon. Kalahati NA LANG ng taon ang natitira. Halos kulang na nga sa kalahati ng taon.Ngayon, kung ang buong taong ito ang titingnan natin at hindi ang sembreak lang, malamang masasabi natin nang mas seryoso na mukhang bitin nga ‘ata.
Bitin.Sa pagkakataong ito, mabuti sigurong lumingon at tingnan ang mahabang landas na tinahak natin sa nakaraang mga buwan ng taong-aralang ito. Mahalaga rin sigurong timbangin natin ang ating mga sarili sa puntong ito: Ginawa ko na ba ang lahat ng makakaya ko bilang mag-aaral ng paaralang ito?
Maya-maya ri’y sasagutan na natin ang mga ebalwasyon para sa mga guro natin. Dahil sa ebalwasyong ito, natatauhan tayong pati pala ang ating mga guro, nagsisikap ding pagbutihin parati ang kanilang pagtuturo sa atin.Tayo mismong mga tinuturuan nila ang tinatanong nila ngayong nangangalahati na ang taon ng, “Kumusta ba?Ano ba ang palagay mo sa pagsisikap kong hubugin ka?”Tulungan sana natin silang makalap at mabasa ang mga kailangan nilang malaman, ang mga hinihingi nilang malaman mula sa atin.
Naaalala ko tuloy ang huling sesyon natin bago mag-sembreak, ang Delaney-Duffy Day.Sa sesyon nating iyon, ipinaramdam natin sa mga guro ang ating pagpupugay at pasasalamat sa kanila.Ipinadama natin sa kanila kung gaano natin sila pinahahalagahan.Sinikap natin silang pasayahin; sinikap nating patabain ang kanilang mga puso.Marahil, napasaya natin sila, kahit paano.Pero hindi nila iyon hinihingi.Pagkukusa natin ‘yon. Sana, natuwa sila.
Ngayon, itong evaluation ang talagang hinihingi nila mula sa atin.Gawin sana natin ito nang makatwiran at makatotohanan.Ibigay natin ngayon ang matitinong sagot natin sa mga tanong nilang, “Kumusta ba? Ano ba ang palagay mo sa pagtuturo ko?”
Ang hantungan ng mga evaluation forms na ito ay ang mismong mga guro natin.Hindi ang Punong-Guro o ang Pangulo ng Pamantasan.Hindi uubra ngayon ang ating mga walang-basehang pambobola o paninira sa kanila.Sila mismo ang babasa nito.At matatalino ang mga guro natin.Naitatangi nila ang mga sagot na may katuturan mula sa wala.Kaya huwag sana nating sayangin ang pagkakataon itong makatulong sa kanila sa pagsisikap nilang maunawaan tayo at paghusayin pa ang paglilingkod nila sa atin.
Isa lamang ito sa mga pamamaraan upang maabot ng mga guro natin ang mithiing nais din nating abutin – ang gawing mas mayaman, masaya at makabuluhan ang bawat minutong pamamalagi natin sa loob ng silid aralan. Gamitin nating lahat ang pagkakataong ito para pasalamatan at pahalagahan ang lahat ng natanggap natin sa mga nakaraang buwan dito sa Ateneo, at magbigay-pugay sa pamamagitan ng paglalahad ng mga mungkahi para sa ikabubuti pa ng ating samahan bilang guro at estudyante.
Nangangalahati na tayo, at sa mga pagkakataong ganito, karaniwang ginagamit ang kasabihan tungkol sa basong may laman: “Is the glass half full or half empty?” Ikaw ba ‘yung taong nakatingin lang parati sa bahaging walang laman, o sa bahaging may laman?
Isa pang pagmumuni: “Is the glass half full or half empty?” Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi na lang inumin ng kung sino mang nag-imbento ng kasabihang ito ang laman ng basong minamasdan niya.Nauuhaw ba siya?Naglalasing ba siya?Nagmi-meryenda ba siya?Mahalaga yatang pansinin, anuman ang kalagayan niya, na tumigil siya at nagtanong muna ukol sa iniinom niya. Minsan, iyon naman talaga ang mahalaga. Bago mo inumin ang kung ano pa man ang laman ng baso mo, tingnan mo muna. Nangangalahati pa lang ba, o paubos na? Pahalagahan ang sarap at sustansyang ibibigay sa uhaw mong nararamdaman. Tiyak na sasarap lang ang pag-inom.
Habang sinasagutan nang makatotohanan an evaluation, pagmunihan mo rin kung ano pa ang mga maaari mong gawin upang sulitin at simutin ang mga nalalabing araw sa silid-aralan. Malayo ang mararating ng pagsagot nang maayos sa ebalwasyon. Ito rin ang maipapamana natin sa mga mag-aaral ng mga susunod pang taon, ma mag-aaral sa AHS sa hinaharap.Maaaring dahil sa ating mga sagot, makikita rin ng mga guro ang babaguhin at pananatilihin nila sa mga susunod na taon para sa mga susunod nilang estudyante.
Kaya imbes na isipin lang natin ang ating mga sarili sa pagsagot ng ebalwasyong ito, isipin sana natin ang mas malawak pang larawan: ang nalalabing mga sesyon ng taong-aralang ito, ang pagsisikap ng mga gurong maunawaan tayo, ang mga mag-aaral ng mga susunod na taon, ang buong mithiin ng paaralan nating maging huwarang Mataas na Paaralan ng lahat.
Malay natin, baka dahil sa ebalwasyong ito, baka makuha pa nating mapunan o mapaapaw pa ang nangangalahati o paubos nang baso ng inumin.
Uulitin ko:
Nasa kalahati pa lang tayo ng taon, NGUNIT, kalahati NA LANG ng taon ang nalalabi; magdadapit-hapon na, ngunit magdadapit-hapon pa lang. Magising at mabuhay na, Atenista, ang dami mo pang magagawa, ang dami mo pang masisilayan!
Gawin sana nating mabuti ang ebalwasyon para sa ating mga guro.
Magtapos tayo sa pagdarasal ng Panalanin sa Pagiging Bukas-Palad.Sa ngalan ng Ama…
Panginoon, turuan Mo ako maging bukas-palad. TuruanMo akong maglingkod sa Iyo, Na magbigay nang ayon sa nararapat nang walang hinihintay mula sa 'Yo.
Na makibakang di inaalintana ang mga hirap na dinaranas; Na sa tuwina ay magsumikap nang hindi humahanap ng kapalit na kaginhawaan; Na walang inaashan at hinihintay kundi ang aking mabatid na ang loob Mo ang siyang sinusundan.Amen.
The great Mahatma Ghandi once gave this challenge: to “be the change that you want to see in the world.” Therefore, instead of ranting about unjust social structures and pointing a finger at leaders for poor governance, I raised my hand and volunteered. A year after graduating from college, eager to prove myself to the world, I joined the 10-month volunteer program of Jesuit Volunteers Philippines or JVP. I followed the path that many others took before me, and in a sense, I continued the mission of those who also answered the call to serve and make a difference.
On my first assignment, I was sent to be a teacher to the tribal students in LakeSebu, South Cotabato. I know that most people associate South Cotabato with kidnapping, Muslim extremism or violence. Fortunately, that was not how I experienced South Cotabato. LakeSebu is a tourist destination with 7 breath-taking waterfalls and 3 wide lakes which are full with life and enriched by cultural tales.
However, I was not in LakeSebu to be a tourist. I was there to make my small difference: to teach T’boli students in the mountains. I was quite surprised that when I met my first class of students, many were nearly twice my age, and no strangers to farmwork and hard labor. The sun darkened male students after days of planting or harvesting in the field. Many of my female students were already mothers who need to go home immediately after schoolhours to take care of children, and cook dinner for their families. Even with this age difference, the re-learning how to read and write, regaining the patience of study habits – all my students believed in the rewards of getting a good education.
You can say that I was hooked with making a difference. I did not put my hand down yet and re-volunteered. JVP then sent me to teach for another school year. This time, they gave me a rather difficult assignment: to teach yet again, but high up in the mountains of Miarayon, Bukidnon to teach Talaandig tribal students. The place didn’t have electricity at that time, save for the 4-hour evening electricity from a generator set. It was cold as Miarayon rests hundreds of feet above sea level. My students were sons and daughters of farmers who during weekends help in the field. They brave strong winds, long walks and cold mornings just to attend school. Their perseverance inspired me, and made me more patient with making lesson plans using a small lamplight.
My two years worth of volunteering were unforgettable. Being in South Cotabato and Bukidnon gave me the privilege of serving the marginalized. I went up to the mountains to make a difference. By rendering faith-driven service, I was changed.
Now, I know that that road that I chose might not be for everyone. Volunteering was the road I chose, the road I took to answer a challenge. Not all can pack their bags, go up to the mountains, and teach. Yet, one thing is for sure, we all can make a difference – wherever we are, with whatever we have to offer. And you can start making that difference now.
Today’s popular culture is teeming with hungry vampires, extra powerful werewolves, people who can change their appearance, levitate, apparate or move objects by merely looking at them. They are in this constant battle with other creatures, their strength and their special abilities are their great offering to win a certain war or challenge. We are fascinated by extra ordinary powers, maybe because we can identify with these characters, because we believe that there is power within, and a power to make a difference.
We are engrossed with magical and virtual characters, yet the truth is – we have our limits, we have mortal bodies, which we should listen to and take care of. And so let us look closer at how we are nourishing ourselves: are we exercising and eating a healthy balanced diet? Are we taking enough sleep and rest? And we ask ourselves further, how are we in our relationships? How am I as a person? As a friend? Am I kind? Am I forgiving? Am I loving? I suggest we answer these questions every now and then: because this mortal, blessed gift of life is all we have – and we have to make it our greatest offering.
We have God to thank for what is given us: our talents, skills and abilities, let us sharpen them. Let us share them.
We might not have washboard abs, and bursting muscles, we might not possess supernatural powers, but certainly, in our current state, we can do extraordinary things with great love, and hope.
And so let us thank and pray to God for this privilege to make our simple contribution of positive change, in our school, in our home and eventually in our society.
And so we pray in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Heavenly Father,
We thank you for this gift of life.
We offer you this day, we offer You our joys, our challenges and pains.
Strengthen us in times of trials, renew us always in your love.
Bless our talents and abilities; bless our lives, as it is our greatest offering.
All these we pray through Christ our Lord,
Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Habang nag-aayos ako ng mga libro sa silid-aklatan, tumambad sa aking harapan ang librong “O.C.W. A Young Boy’s Search for his Mother” na siyang pumukaw sa aking alaala. Ang ugat ng istorya ay tungkol sa isang batang naghanap sa kanyang ina na kung saan sa kanyang sa murang edad nakaranas siya ng mga pagsubok at hirap sa kanyang paglalakbay. Hiwalay ang mga magulang niya, kaya nagpasya siya na hanapin ang katotohanan. Parang ako! Naalala ko noong mga limang taong gulang pa lang ako nang iwan kami ng nanay ko. Tatlo kaming magkakapatid; ako ang bunso. Ang tatay ko ang nag-aruga at nagpa-aral sa amin. Narding ang pangalan niya; nagtrabaho siya sa paaralan. Bilib ako sa kanya dahil wala kaming narinig na kahit anong masamang salita tungkol sa aming ina. Bukod sa lahat maka-Diyos at makatao ang tatay ko. Hindi niya pinalitan ang nanay ko, bagkus nagsilbi siya sa simbahan na siyang nagpapalakas at nagbibigay ng pag-asa sa kanya.
Noong mga panahon na iyon, ako naman ay walang magawa dahil bata pa ako. Nang naging "teenager" ako, sumagi sa isipan ko kung nasaan na kaya ang nanay ko at kung ano ang kalagayan niya, masaya ba siya o mahirap ang pinagdadaanan niya? Natanong ko din na bakit wala kaming "family picture," kailan kaya kami magkakaroon ng “family picture?” Tuwing pupunta ako kasi sa bahay ng mga kaibigan at kaklase ko ay nakikita ko ang mga naglalakihang litrato ng pamilya nila. Hindi ako naiingit subalit nagdarasal ako na sana magkaroon din kami ng “family picture.”
Lumaki ako na gaya ni Tonyo sa nabasa kong libro na pinamagatang "O.C.W. A Young boy’s Search for his Mother." Sa kuwentong ito nasasalamin halos ang mga pinagdaanan ko sa buhay. Nabarkada din kasi ako sa mga batang kalye sa Maynila at sa mga mapupusok na kaibigan ko sa lalawigan. Kung anu-anong bisyo ang aking natutunan. Nalampasan ko ang lahat ng iyon. Kapag sumapit ang alas nuwebe ng gabi at wala pa ako sa bahay ay pinagsasarhan na ako ng pinto. Tulog man sila o gising hindi ako pinagbuksan ng pinto para maging parusa sa akin. Ang ginagawa ko ay tumambay ng magdamag sa katayan ng baboy, baka o kalabaw. Sa madaling salita sa matadero ay naging helper ako, boy o utusan. Naisip ko siguro kung nandito lang ang nanay ko hindi ako ganito. Iyan ang lagi kong sambit pag naiisip ko ang kalagayan ko. Hindi naglaon nakatapos ako ng pag-aaral sa "high school.”
Pagtuntong ko ng kolehiyo natanong ko kung mabuo pa kaya ang pamilya namin at magkaroon din kaya kami ng "family picture"? Nang makatapos ako ng pag-aaral ay may isang anak na kami ng nobya ko na di naglaon ay siya rin ang asawa ko ngayon at sa paaralan din siya nagtatrabaho. Magtatatlo na aming anak nang biglang dumating at bumalik sa amin ang nanay ko. Mahina siya kasi naistrok siya at pinabayaan ng kinasama niya. Nang malaman ng aking ama ang kalagayan ng aking ina ay nagpasya siyang tanggapin muli at alagaan ang aking ina. Pagkaraan ng sampung buwan, nakarekober ang nanay ko. Nakakakwentuhan namin siya. M insan bigla na lang papatak ang luha niya at sabay sabing “patawad mga anak ko,” dahil inaalagaan namin siya pero siya hindi niya kami naalagaan. Naalala ko rin "yung mga nag alaga sa akin nung panahon na wala siya, marami akong nanay pero wala akong ina. Ito ang aking sinasabi sa mga kaibigan ko noon.
Hindi nagtagal nagkaroon din kami ng "family picture." Iyon nga lang nakatayo kaming lahat at si nanay ay nasa kabaong. Samantala, si Tatay ay patuloy pa rin sa pagbibigay ng kanyang sarili ng pagiging kaibigan at ama. Naroroon pa rin sa paglilingkod sa simbahan. Sa edad na pitumpu’t apat naroroon patuloy pa rin siya sa kanyang pagiging gabay sa amin. Sa ngayon nagiging paraan kong makapiling ang tatay ko sa pamamagitan ng pagbubukas ko ng isang libro kung saan masusumpungan ko ang larawan ng tatay ko. Ikaw, nasasalamin ba ng binabasa mo ang buhay mo? Sabay nating dasalin ang Ama namin. Ama namin, sumasalangit ka, sambahin ang ngalan mo, mapasa amin ang kaharian mo, sundin ang loob dito sa lupa para ng sa langit, bigyan mo po kami ngayon ng aming kakanin sa araw-araw. At patawarin mo kami sa aming mga sala, para nang pagpapatawad namin sa mga nagkakasala sa amin. At huwag mo po kaming ipahintulot sa tukso at iadya mo po kami sa lahat ng masama. Sapagkat sa iyo nagmumula ang kaharian, kapangyarihan at kaluwalhatian, ngayon at magpakailanman , amen.
Ngayon ang bisperas ng paggunita ng Pagdedeklara ng Batas Militar noong 1972. Tatlumpu’t walong (38) taon ang nakaraan nang maranasan ng sambayanan ang bangungot na ito at marami ang nais na lumimot dahil sa mga masasamang naging dulot nito. Kaya bihira na itong binabanggit. Marahil kakaunti na lang ang nakakaalam sa inyo nito dahil malayo ito sa inyong karanasan. O kaya, talagang wala nang nakaaalala dahil madali raw makalimot ang mga Pilipino.
Samantala, may manaka-naka pa ring nagtatanong –“E, bakit nga bang dapat itong maalala?
Maraming historyador, manunulat, makata at iba pang mga pantas ang nagsasabing ang panahong ito ang maituturing na Panahon ng Kadiliman o Dark Ages ng Pilipinas, dahil nawala ang kalayaang tinatamasa nito sa matagal nang panahon. Sa isang bagsak ng batas na madaliang itinalaga, namatay ang ilaw ng kalayaang tinatamasa ng mga Pilipino. Ang mga pahayagan, radyo, sine at ano mang uri ng media ay hawak at kontrolado ng mga kinauukulan. Bawal na ang magsalita ng masama laban sa pamahalaan. Bawal ang magpahayag ng sarili, bawal ang magpagabi, bawal ang magsulat sa mga pader. Bawal dito, bawal doon. Kung anu-anong bawal ang lumaganap noon. Sa pagkawala ng KALAYAAN, doon nadama kung gaano ito kahalaga.
Ano nga ba ang kalayaan? Ang akala ng iba, ang pagiging malaya ay ang kakayahang gawin ang lahat ng nais mo, kahit saan at kailan mo gusto. Subali’t kung hihimayin ang salitang ito, naroon ang KA na ang ibig sabihin ay may kasama, maaaring tayo o ibang indibiduwal, at ang salitang LAYA o freedom o pagkawala o pagkahulagpos. Sa gayon, ang kalayaan ay hindi pansarili lamang, kaakibat nito ang kapwa. Ang pagiging malaya ay hindi lang para sa sarili kundi pagkilala rin sa kalayaan ng iba. Ang pagpapalaya ng sarili ay pagpapalaya rin ng iba.
Paano nga ba natin isinasabuhay ito? Paano natin ginagamit ang kalayaan? Ginagamit ba natin ito para sa kapwa lampas sa sarili? Ginagamit ba natin ito upang magawa ang nararapat at tama? Ginagamit ba natin ito upang ipahayag ang katotohanan o para ipagkalat ang kasinungalingan? Ginagamit ba natin ito upang bumuo o gumiba ng pagkatao ng iba ? Ginagamit ba natin ito upang huwag gawin ang kaya dahil hawak naman natin ang buhay at sarili ? O ginagamit ito upang maipahayag at maipakita ang ating “pinaka” – galing at lakas?
Sa iba’t ibang pagkakataon, tayo’y hinahamong maging mabuti at karapatdapat na behikulo ng kalayaan. Handa ba tayo sa tawag na ito ? Kaya ba nating panindigan ang kaakibat nitong pagpapakasakit? Winika nga ni Mohandas K. Gandhi ,ang dakilang bayani ng India, “In order to be independent and free, we must prove ourselves worthy of it.” Kung minsan,nasasayang ang kalayaan dahil nabubusabos, naaabuso o kaya’y napapabayaan ito. Kaya’t makararanas at makararanas tayo ng kawalang kalayaan, hangga’t hindi natin ito pinagyayabong at pinangangalagaan. Ang kalayaan ay hindi ibinibigay, ito ay ipinaglalaban. Ang kalayaan ay para lamang sa mga matatapang na kayang yakapin ang kakambal nitong pananagutan. Ang ayaw ng pananagutan ay nanatiling may piring ang mata at nakagapos ang kamay at paa.
Manalangin tayo: Panginoon, alam naming pumapasok Ka sa daloy ng kasaysayan. Ikaw, na nag-alay ng buhay upang kami’y lumaya sa kasalanan. Nawa’y maging karapatdapat kami sa pagpapalaya Mong ito. Nawa’y kami’y Iyong maging mata upang makita namin ang katotohanan; Iyong tenga upang marinig namin ang daing ng aming kapwa; Iyong bibig upang maipahayag ang katotohanan; Iyong kamay at paa upang kumilos tungo sa ikabubuti ng lipunan. Nawa’y magamit namin ang kalayaang Iyong alay tungo sa pagpapalaya rin ng aming kapwa. Amen.
Estela Banasihan Guro, Araling Panlipunan II at III
For four months now, I have been living at Arvisu House as a Jesuit candidate and doing my own discernment; a discernment governed by structures and, more importantly, filled with silence and prayer; a discernment done as a way to know what God is calling me to be---a call that might have been ignored for so long; a possible invitation to embrace the religious life as a Jesuit priest.
For almost four months now, I have never had a chance to sleep at night for more than six hours straight. I usually have to wake up at 5:00 AM and go to bed at around 11:30 PM. I have only been to the movies thrice. I have only been to the mall 5 to 6 times. I have only had five dinner parties with friends which used to be almost a weekly activity. I have never had a chance to come home later than the curfew time at 6:00 PM except on Fridays and Saturdays. I have never had a chance to go out on my own or with friends during weeknights. I have never seen any television shows. And I have only watched one UAAP basketball game this year.
I have been feeding Georgy and Daki, our two beautiful dogs as well as the fish in the aquarium every single day. I have been washing heavy pots and pans which, ironically, has become my favorite workout activity. I have been helping out in cleaning the house and the bathrooms every Saturday. Sometimes, on Saturdays, too, I have to wake up at 3:30 AM and head to Marikina Wet Market to do the weekly marketing.
The list never seems to end.
It wasn’t an easy decision to finally acknowledge this call. To respond to this call means having great courage to go out of my way and leave my comfort zone and to conquer the fear of giving up and losing a lot of things that matter most to me---family, friends, relationships, time, etc. To have this courage means to learn to let go of these things despite many uncertainties that await and just trust in the Lord that he will take care of everything.
Secondly, to respond to this call means knowing God and establishing a rather personal relationship with Him. I am very much aware that this entails knowing myself first as well as opening myself to Him by acknowledging my gifts, strengths and abilities. On the other hand, it also means humbly accepting my own inadequacies and incapacities and unworthiness. But though it is good to acknowledge these things, I have long since realized that God does not measure my worth based on the things that I do not have but on what I have instead. It doesn’t matter if I am weak because it is God that will give me the strength. It doesn’t matter if I’m imperfect but what matters is to use my imperfections to challenge myself to do more. Having these inadequacies, incapacities, or imperfections does not make me less deserving of God’s love than others. Acknowledging these things is true self-knowledge—regarding myself as God sees me. Lastly, to respond to this call means acknowledging that desire to follow Him, serve Him and love Him. In Arvisu, we have different family backgrounds and social status, different skills and talents, different political views, different attitudes and values. We get pissed off with each other. But despite these, we learn to allow God to speak to us through each other, through our indifferences and peculiarities. We also question a lot of things and, sometimes, we complain. We overly get tired because of the never-ending demands. We argue a lot. We struggle with so many things. We commit mistakes. But, nevertheless, we willingly and obediently follow the formation process and find meaning even in the smallest of things. It is basically our desire to seek and respond to God’s love that keeps us aflame.
At this point, it is so premature to assume that I will, indeed, embrace a religious life by becoming a Jesuit priest. One certain thing is that there will be a lot of consolations and desolations. There will be a lot of challenges. There will be a lot of issues to deal with. But it is the courage, the openness, and the desire to love Him that will keep me going.
I can also say that I still do not completely understand the full meaning of “calling.” And I don’t think I will be able to do so. What I know is that I am very much inspired to respond to God’s invitation to follow Him, serve Him, and love Him. I am here because I have chosen to love Him back despite the fact that I can only give love Him as much.
I may be responding to a call that is very much different from yours----my dear students. As students, you may be called by God to be diligent in your studies; to prioritize your academics more than anything else; to always find meaning in the tons of requirements that you are asked to submit; to never cease to learn new things and apply them to real life experiences; to be a genuinely good friend; to be a compassionate classmate; to be a loving and obedient son; to be a good role model to the younger students; to be a responsible class or org officer; to comply with the rules set by the school; or to simply show respect for others.
What is God calling you to be? Have you stopped lately to listen to this call? How have you responded to this call?
“Lord, give us the courage to accept the things that you desire for us. Give us the openness to accept our incapacities, inadequacies, and imperfections. Help us not to dwell on these things but instead, use these things to serve You and love You. Grant us the humility to accept that it is only You who is perfect. Finally, keep the desire in our hearts burning so that we are able to love You and follow You no matter where You will lead us. Amen.”
Setyembre. May kung anong hatid ang buwan na ito.Para bang nagbibigay-hudyat sa atin para magsaya at mapuno ng pag-asa.Kapag tumapak na kasi ang kalendaryo sa buwang ito, umpisa na ng countdown.Bawat pisara sa mga silid-aralan ay siguradong may nakasaad na “____ days before Christmas!” Ang mga morning shows sa telebisyon ay may iba’t-ibang choir na umaawit ng Christmas carols, ang mga department stores ay nagdi-display na ng mga naka-eengganyong mga palamuti para sa Pasko,at ang sikat na Policarpio Street sa Mandaluyong ay naghahanda na para i-showcase ang kanilang mistulang Christmas village.Pero teka,bago ang Pasko, kaarawan muna ng ating Mahal na Ina. Setyembre bago Disyembre. Bago isinilang si Kristo, isinilang muna ang kanyang Mahal na Ina. Bakit nga ba natin ipinagdiriwang ang kaarawan ng tinatawag nating lahat na “Mariang Ina Ko”? Gaano ba siya kahalaga sa atin bilang mga Kristyano?
Para sa ating mga Pilipino at maging sa mga tao sa ibang panig ng mundo, ang pagdiriwang ng kaarawan ay isang mahalaga at masayang okasyon. Para bang sa bawat selebrasyon – ke pansit lang at ice cream ang meron, ito ay nagsasabi sa may kaarawan na “ikaw ay espesyal, ikaw ay minamahal, ikaw ay natatangi, masaya kami na nandyan ka.” Ganito rin ba ang ating damdamin o saloobin para sa Mahal na Birheng Maria?
Sa lahat ng masasakit at mahihirap na dinaraanan natin sa buhay, ang Birheng Maria, pareho ng ating mga ina, ang siya nating takbuhan. Sa bingit ng hukay, gusto nating tangan niya ang ating mga kamay sabi nga sa isang awiting pandasal. Ilang beses na ba tayong dumulog sa kanya sa oras ng kalungkutan, kapighatian at matinding pangangailangan? Bakit mayroon siyang shrine sa Edsa? Bakit kaya sa loob ng 300 na taon ay nagawa ng ating mga kababayan sa Bikol na mahalin at magkaroon ng debosyon kay Ina o ang Our Lady of Penafrancia – na isa lamang sa napakaraming imahe ng Mahal nating Ina? Bakit tayo nagrorosaryo?
Ang kaarawan ng Birheng Maria ay siya lang namang nagbigay-daan sa pagluwal sa Tagapag-ligtas. Si Maria ay ipinagdalang-tao ng kanyang ina na si Anna. Siya na ipinagdalang-tao ay siya ring nagdadala ng mga tao palapit sa Diyos, palapit sa kaligtasan. At ang kaganapan ng lahat ng ating minimithi at pinapangarap ay nanggaling sa kanyang sinapupunan. Paano ba siyang hindi magiging espesyal? Paanong hindi natin mamahalin? Paanong hindi itatangi? At paanong hindi maghahatid ng saya at pag-asa sa atin? Hindi ba’t tulad ng ating mga ina, nilalapitan natin siya bilang ating taga-pamagitan? Kapag may kailangan kay itay at nahihiya o natatakot tayong magsabi, di ba kay inay tayo lumalapit? Kapag tayo’y may sakit, hindi ba’t ang mga nanay natin ang ating tinatawag at gusto laging andyan sa bawat ingit?
Kung kaya’t tulad ng isang anak na mapagmahal sa kanyang Inang natatangi, gusto nating ipagdiwang ang kanyang espesyal na araw. Ano’ng handa ba ang magpapaligaya at makapagpapataba ng kanyang puso? Ano ba ang maaari nating gawin? Sa aking tingin, kaya tayo naglulunsad ng KFD. Ito ang ating regalo sa Mahal nating Ina. Ito ang ating pagpapakita na mahal natin siya dahil mag-aalay tayo ng ating mga sarili upang matugunan ang pangangailangan ng iba pa niyang mga anak na naghihirap. Hindi ba’t ganyan ang nakakapagpasaya sa isang ina? Ang makita ang kanyang mga anak na nagmamahalan at nagtutulungan?
Sa iyo, mahal naming Ina, maligayang kaarawan! “ikaw ay espesyal, ikaw ay minamahal, ikaw ay natatangi, masaya kami na nandyan ka.”
Tayo’y manalangin:
Panginoon,
Kami po ay nagpapasalamat sa inyong pagkakaloob sa amin ng isang Inang Mariang mapagmahal, matiisin, matatag at malalim ang pananamplataya. Ang kanyang kaarawan ay nagbigay-daan sa aming kaligtasan. Harinawa ay kasihan mo kami ng Iyong mahal na grasya upang higit pa naming siyang mahalin at gayahin. Patuloy pa sana niya kaming gabayan ay akayin sa aming paglalakbay tungo sa Iyo, Panginoon ng Kaliwanagan. Amen.
Inihanda ni: Meng N. de Guia
Source of picture: http://campus.udayton.edu/mary//meditations/birthday.html
Ngayong umaga, hayaan ninyo akong ibahagi sa inyo ang ilang sipi ng liham ni Ninoy Aquino sa kaniyang anak na si Noynoy noong Agosto 25, 1973 habang nakakulong sa Fort Bonifacio.
?I have decided not to participate in the proceedings of the Military Commission assigned to try the charges filed against me by the army prosecution staff. As you know, I?ve been charged with illegal possession of firearms, violation of RA 1700 otherwise known as the ?Anti-Subversion Act? and murder?. By not participating in the proceedings, I will not be represented by counsel, the prosecution will present its witnesses without any cross examinations, I will not put up any defense, I will remain passive and quiet through the entire trial and I will merely await the verdict. Inasmuch as it will be a completely one-sided affair, I suppose it is reasonable to expect the maximum penalty will be given to me. I expect to be sentenced to imprisonment the rest of my natural life, or possibly be sent to stand before a firing squad. By adopting the course of action I decided upon this afternoon, I have literally decided to walk into the very jaws of death.
You may ask: why did you do it?
Son, my decision is an act of conscience. It is an act of protest against the structures of injustice that have been imposed upon our hapless countrymen. Futile and puny, as it will surely appear to many, it is my last act of defiance against tyranny and dictatorship?
Forgive me for passing unto your young shoulders the great responsibility for our family. I trust you will love your mother and your sisters and lavish them with the care and protection I would have given them?? Labintatlong taong gulang lamang si Noynoy nang matanggap niya ang liham na ito. Para sa isang ama, nais niyang iwan ang isang mensahe sa kaniyang anak - ang huwag matinag sa pinaniniwalaang prinsipyo. Sa kaso ni Ninoy, nangahulugan ito ng pagkakawalay sa kaniyang pamilya, pagkakakulong at posibleng kamatayan. May pagkakataon sana si Ninoy na ipagtanggol ang kaniyang sarili sa mga ipinaratang sa kaniya sa tulong ng kaniyang mga abugadong sina Jovito R. Salonga at Lorenzo M. Tañada. Ito na marahil ang pinaklohikal na desisyong maaaring gawin. Sa harap ng mga ganitong sitwasyon, masusukat ang pagkatao ninuman. Ang pinili ni Ninoy, ang landas na hindi karaniwang pinipili ng nakararami ? ang lumaban sa diktadurya. Pinili niyang iprotesta ang sa tingin niya?y maling istrukturang lumilitis sa kaniya. Nais niyang iparating sa diktador na hindi-hindi siya magpapagamit sa pamamaraang kumikitil sa demokrasya.
Alam ni Ninoy ang kahihinatnan ng ganitong desisyon. Pero tumakbo marahil sa isip niya, anong mukha ang ihaharap ko sa aking asawa, mga anak at kapwa Pilipino kung basta na lamang ako magmakaawa kay Marcos upang palayain at mamuhay ako nang tahimik? Sabi nga ni Ninoy sa kaniyang binasang pahayag sa Military Commission noong Agosto 27, 1973, ?Some people suggest that I beg for mercy. But this I cannot in conscience do. I would rather die on my feet with honor, than live on bended knees in shame.? Sa panahon ngayon, ilan ang pipiliing panatilihin ang kaniyang dangal kaysa mas madaling pamamaraan? Panandaliang nanirahan sa Estados Unidos si Ninoy upang magpaopera sa puso subalit hindi niya kayang talikuran ang kaniyang konsensiya. Nagdesisyon siyang bumalik sa Pilipinas. Nilalayon niyang kumbinsihin si Marcos na ipanumbalik ang demokrasya sa Pilipinas. Bumalik siya gamit ang pangalang Marcial Bonifacio noong Agosto 21, 1983.
Marahil natakot rin si Ninoy. Ibinunyag niyang magsusuot siya ng bullet-proof vest para sa kaniyang katawan subalit wala na raw siyang magagawa para protektahan ang kaniyang ulo. Habang kinakapanayam ng mga mamamahayag sa loob ng China Airlines Flight 811, parang nakini-kinita na niya ang kaniyang kapalaran. Wika ni Ninoy, ?You have to be ready with your hand camera because this action can become very fast. In a matter of 3 or 4 minutes it could be all over, and I may not be able to talk to you again after this.? At ganoon nga ang nangyari. Sa tarmac ng Manila International Airport, tumambang ang katawan ni Ninoy ilang sandal matapos lumapag ang sinasakyan niyang eroplano. Ibinurol siyang hindi hinuhugasan ang marka ng tama ng baril sa kaniyang ulo, mga tanda ng kaniyang kahandaang mamatay para sa bayan.
Naantig ang puso ng mga Pilipino. Humaba ang pila ng mga nakikiramay. Milyon ang bilang ng mga nakipaglibing. Sa ika-27 taon ng paggunita natin sa pagkamatay ni Ninoy, tingnan natin ang ginagawa natin para sa ating bayan. Manalangin tayo.
Gambalain Mo Kami, Panginoon kung Sa karangyaan ng mga bagay na aming pag-aari Nawaglit ang aming uhaw Sa tubig ng buhay; Na nang kami'y humilig sa buhay, Nahinto rin ang aming pag-aasam sa Walang Hanggan At sa aming pagsisikap na magtayo ng panibagong daigdig Hinayaan naming ang aming pananaw Sa bagong Langit na magdilim.
Gambalain Mo Kami, Panginoon na mangahas ng buong tapang, Na maglakbay sa higit na malalalim na karagatan Na kung saan ang mga unos ay maghahayag ng iyong pagka-Panginoon; Kung saan, mawala man sa aming balin-tataw ang mga lupa, Matatagpuan naman namin ang mga bituin.
Hinihiling namin, Sa Iyo, na itulak patungo sa mga hangganan ng abot-tanaw ang aming mga pag-asa; At ihatid kami sa hinaharap Na may lakas, tapang, pag-asa at pag-ibig.
--panalangin sinasabing katha ni Sir Francis Drake, 1577
Today, as we celebrate the feast of our founder, our patron saint, the father of Jesuits and thus the father of all Ateneans, St. Ignatius of Loyola, let us focus on three things that I think defined who he was, and that could define who he can be for us today. Three things: the sword of Ignatius, the star of Ignatius, and the seal of Ignatius.
First the sword of St. Ignatius. One of the most popular images of Ignatius, as we know, is his offering of his sword to the Virgin of Montserrat. The sword meant a lot to him. It defined who he was: a soldier missioned to protect his king, a soldier who will fight battles for the Crown, a soldier who will give his life for the Spanish kingdom of his time. The sword represented the life he has been living as a young man, filled with vanity and ambition, consumed with pride and personal glory, prestige and power. Yet as we know from the story of Ignatius, after his conversion in Loyola he decided to leave this life behind and follow God wherever God may be calling him. This meant saying goodbye to his being a soldier. It meant giving away his expensive clothes, and in its place, wearing a poor man’s robe. It meant surrendering his sword, during a whole night vigil or prayer, kneeling in front of the Black Madonna in the Chapel of Montserrat in Spain. In doing so he gave his life – single-heartedly – to God, and to God alone. And almost like saying, I am yours, it is up to you, take me, and lead me where you want me to go. He knew, he was certain, that he was being called to something greater.
When we see the sword of Ignatius, when we think about it, perhaps we can also think about our own swords, the swords of our own personal lives. What are the things that we have that define who we are, our passions, things that we can, yes, give up, offer to God, in place for something greater, something better, something more. Could our swords be our material things, the stuff that we tend to accumulate and are in excess of, like perhaps cellphones and computers, games and gadgets, clothes and clutter. Such that if we let go of them, we simplify our lives, and when we simplify our lives, we become closer to God. Or perhaps, could our swords be those that are great about our selves, like talents and gifts, like things we are good at, academics, sports, music, making friends, being good leaders, and being good followers too, and how about our precious time and energy – things valuable to us, which we can offer to God, so that God can use them toward something greater. Something greater like using our talents and gifts for others, for service of the poor. Remember that God still used the soldier in Ignatius, and called him to fight not anymore for the human king, but for Christ the King, for God’s kingdom, over the forces of evil in the world. In your lives, dear students, what do you think is your sword? What is your passion? What can you offer to God? What can you sacrifice to God so He can transform it, use it, for something greater, something for the betterment of others, for the betterment of the world. What is the sword that you can offer and surrender?
Second, the star of Ignatius. Ignatius was a busy man. His typical day was devoted to so many things: listening and talking to people, helping the poor and the hungry, raising funds, getting the support of the rich and powerful men and women, writing letters to the first Jesuits, to Popes, bishops, kings, and queens. He must have been very tired at the end of each day. At nighttime, Ignatius would stop, go out to the veranda of his room, and look up to the heavens, and gaze at the stars. Ignatius was a star-gazer. Star-gazing kept him quiet. It kept quiet his mind, his heart, his soul, after a tiring, noisy and busy day. More than this, star-gazing gave Ignatius some insight and perspective. It made him see that he is part of something infinitely bigger and greater. When he gazes at the stars, the infinite horizon, he realizes how small we are in the vast expanse of the universe. And this renders him silent. He is awed. He is humbled. It made him see that there is a greater power to all the things of the world. It made him see God, the greater power, loving and caring for us, small creatures of this planet. It made him feel grateful that he is still alive, kept alive and happy by God.
When we see the star of Ignatius, when we think of it, can we also think of our own stars. What are the things in our lives that keep us quiet, reflective, silent, prayerful? Perhaps, our teachers, the Jesuits, the required prayer periods, the required masses like this one? I hope not only these. I hope other things like a time we set aside for ourselves, not being forced to do so, alone, silent, perhaps in our rooms, or in any quiet places, nothing and no one to disturb us, where we can reflect, where we can pray. Jesuits call this contemplation. It focuses our mind, our heart, our soul. It connects us to our God, and like Ignatius, it gives us light, perspective, happiness, in the middle of our very busy schedules, in the middle of the so many things we do in our lives.
Can our friends be our stars? Like the friends in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies. Remember Toy Story? How Andy realized toward the end of the movie that his old toys, Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Jesse, Rex, Slinky Dog, Mr and Mrs Potato Head, are really his friends, friends who have taught him the value of love, loyalty, even sacrifice. In the same way, our dear parents, our family, our teachers, our classmates, our administrators – they can be our stars, giving us light amid darkness and confusion, joy amid our sadness, helping us pray. They are stars who make us choose life, as we have heard in the second reading a while ago. Do we feel grateful for these stars in our lives? Have we thanked them in one way or the other?
And now, the third, the seal of St. Ignatius. In the time of Ignatius, seals were very important. All noble families, like Ignatius’ own, the Loyolas, have their own emblems or seals. The Loyolas have the famous seal of two wolves feeding on a pot of food, which showed abundance, sharing, and generosity, there was enough food to share, even to the wolves. When Ignatius became the head, or the General of the Society of Jesus, the Jesuits, he had to write thousands of letters – more than 7000 letters actually – to Jesuits and other people. He used a symbol to seal and stamp with wax the letters he sent all over the world. His seal bears the first three letters of the name of Jesus, IHS. It became the seal of the Society of Jesus.
When we look at the seal of Ignatius and the Jesuits, think about and reflect on your own seal. If you were to draw, or create a seal for yourself, how will it look like. What images will it contain? Will it have animals like wolves? Or initials and symbols? I am sure that many of you have made such visual representations of yourselves. In our modern-day pop technological jargon, we call them Avatars, like those we use for yahoo emails. In Facebook we can choose any type of profile picture, and represent ourselves with cartoons, photos, notes, links, and others. In the dazzling world of computer games like the amazingly phenomenal DOTA or Defense of the Ancients, we can choose our favorite heroes – Zeus, Naix, or Lina Inverse from all of 97 heroes, sentinels or scourge, level-up in experience, strength, agility, intelligence, craft our game plan, strategies and tactics, or in Guitar Hero, select and synchronize our favorite rhythms, songs and artists. We can construct our own personal websites, webspaces, chatrooms, games, rules, and others. The possibilities – creative and exciting – are endless in terms of defining ourselves today, introducing, presenting ourselves to the big world. And yet, the question remains: who are we, who shall we be, who do we want to be. In the Gospel, Jesus asks his disciples: who do people say that I am? The question of identity confronts us. Are we real or virtual? Actual or imagined? Are we portraying our selves as we are now, or as we wish to be in the future? Who do you say you are? Who do people say you are?
In the case of Ignatius, he chose his identity to be simple, uncomplicated, yet deep and profound. He chose his identity, his avatar, his hero, to be near, to be close, to the identity of Jesus. Jesus, simply, profoundly Jesus. The first Jesuits named their group in honor of Jesus, the Compaña de Jesus. They wanted themselves, their identities to be near that of Jesus, so that they will not wander far and forget who they are. Perhaps whenever we see the seal of Ignatius and the Jesuits, we can reflect on our own personal seals, symbols, images, our heroes, our profiles, and our avatars. Do we identify with Jesus as Ignatius did? Or do we identify with someone else, with something else?
And so, dear students, dear faculty and staff, in this feast of our founder, St. Ignatius, let us reflect on his legacy and his spirit, a legacy and spirit that remains alive today, almost five centuries after. His sword, his star, his seal. Our own swords, stars, and seals. His spirit and tradition. Alive and burning in our community here in Ateneo. Alive and burning in our hearts.
Hello! We continue this morning with our novena sharing, reflecting this time on Ignatius’ experience in Paris. As many of us may already know, Ignatius went to Paris to study at the not-so-young-age of 37. For the students, if you think studying and learning is hard now, imagine when you are 37 years old memorizing facts, names and dates, staying up late to learn new concepts, taking quizzes and long tests, struggling while all your other classmates are in the prime of their lives with clear minds, good memories and youthful energy. Some of your teachers can probably attest to the fact that studying is much harder when one is much older. It is a humbling experience to say the least.
Now, despite this “disadvantage,” Ignatius saw the importance of a good education to be able to serve God well. How could he teach or preach if he did not know the material in the first place? So he went for studies even at his advanced age. Of course, he had to go to the #1 university in Europe at that time, the University of Paris. At 37, attending the best university – he definitely had a hard time. But to be fair, his roommates, Peter Faber and Francis Xavier, probably studied hard as well – the whole class did. Though, perhaps some, like Ignatius, studied more than the others. But all of them went through the same Parisian educational system where the students would be given a subject to master; there would be a lot of exercises and exams, over and over again until they mastered it; only then would they move to the next topic, and to the next, and so on and so forth. For seven years they toiled together. And as you can probably guess, Ignatius, Faber and Xavier and all their other classmates emerged from such a demanding and challenging experience with more than just a doctorate degree – they emerged as close friends, companions.
I think many of you can relate to this. May it be a difficult subject, a demanding teacher or one of the many class projects – it’s hard, it pushes every one of you, but in the end, when all has been said and done, you’ve not only learned a new skill or concept, you’ve also learned more about those who struggled with you: you classmates. After three or four years in the same class, you cannot but know each other well.
If I may be bluntly honest this morning, I must say that I am going through such an experience right now. As some of you might know, I’m a Jesuit candidate living in Arvisu House. I and my fellow candidates are being given a taste of what it means, what it entails to be a Jesuit. It’s not easy. It’s not easy for me to be poor when I’ve had a car, got a well-paying job, a very comfortable life and sizable inheritance. It’s not easy to be chaste when I’ve had a girlfriend, when I’ve known how it is to love someone deeply and be loved as deeply in return; not to mention the raging hormones (well okay, libido, mostly). It’s hard to be obedient when I’m educated, skilled and confident, used to being independent and proactive. It’s hard. But it becomes a little easier when I know I’m not journeying alone. I know my Arvisu brothers are going through the same thing in their own way. And these past two months, I’ve gained some really good friends who give more than just advice, but who provide the strength to carry on. Through our shared struggle, friendships are born.
In today’s Gospel, the same can be said of Jesus’ disciples. We have Jesus speaking in parables that no one at that time could understand. Even his disciples couldn’t understand. So, in the Gospel, we find them going to Jesus asking for an explanation. It must have been hard to be Jesus’ disciple then. Imagine leaving your family, your possessions to go from town to town listening to a teacher you cannot understand and constantly being threatened by the authorities and elders. It must have been a real struggle. But it is a struggle that forged deep friendships among disciples that later helped lay the foundation for the early Church.
And so, in any hardship or tragedy we are currently going through, perhaps is good to ask who else is struggling beside us and perhaps we can lend a helping hand or give kind word or even just an affirming smile because for all we know: that person may need a friend.
Unang Bahagi. Kapag nagleleybor ang buntis, hindi ‘yan makatitiis…
Nagpunta si Ignacio sa Jerusalem. Ang dahilan… gusto niyang mapuntahan ang pinagmulan ng pananampalatayang Kristyano, ang lugar kung saan mismo isinilang ang panginoong Hesus. Marahil, bukod sa gala lang talaga si Ignacio, e romantiko rin siyang dito niya gustong ipanganak, isilang ang pagyabong ng kanyang bokasyon. Gaano karomantiko si Ignacio sa bahaging ito? Bukod sa gusto niyang puntahan kung saan isinilang si Kristo, gusto rin lang naman niyang makita pati ang lugar ng asensyon ni Kristo at pati na kung saan nakaturo ang kanyang mga paa nito nang umakyat siya sa langit. Pati kung saan nakaturo ang paa ni Kristo nang umakyat siya sa langit ha. Hardcore. OC.
Pero siyempre, hindi ito naging madali sa ating bida. Bakit? Nandyan ang mga Turko na sumakop sa Jerusalem nung panahong iyon kaya hindi basta-basta makapangaral hinggil sa Kristyanismo. Bukod pa rito, e nariyan ang mga Franciscano na kumausap kay Ignacio na kung gusto niyang lumalim pa nang husto ang kanyang ispiritwalidad, e pumunta siya sa Roma, at huwag maging labis na mapangahas na mangaral hinggil sa Kristyanismo sa Jerusalem dahil baka magalit ang mga Morong Turko at ‘di na nila payagan pang makapunta ang mga Kristyano sa banal na bayan. Sa madaling sabi, itinaboy nila si Ignacio.
Sa isang banda, mukhang bigo si Ignacio sa kanyang layunin sa Jerusalem. Bigo sapagkat hindi niya naisilang ang paglago ng kanyang ispiritwalidad sa lugar kung saan niya ito nais isilang.
Kabiguan o di-mapipigilang pagsilang? Kapag nagleleybor ang buntis, hindi ‘yan makatitiis… magsisilang at magsisilang ‘yan. Sa taxi, sa dyip, sa bahay, sa ospital, sa traysikel, sa kariton, sa traysikad, sa arinola… kahit saan, kung nagleleybor ang buntis, hindi ‘yan makatitiis… magsisilang ‘yan. Ganyan marahil ang nagyari sa ispiritwalidad ni Ignacio. Hindi man sa pinakaninanais niyang lugar ito isilang, hindi niya ito mapipigilang ipanganak. Tulad ng isang inang nagdadalantao, kahit hindi sa pinakamahusay na ospital ipanganak ang kanyang supling, ayos lang. Ang mahalaga, buhay ito, masigla at malusog. Hindi man sa Jerusalem, ang mahalaga, isinilang ang bokasyon ni Ignacio, buhay ito, at patuloy na lumago.
Ikalawang Bahagi. Ano ang higit na mahalaga? Jerusalem o ang layuning paglagong pang-ispiritwal ni Ignacio? Ospital? O ang panganganak nang ligtas, buhay, at malusog?
Kung iuugnay ito sa sariling pagninilay, maaaring maihambing ang Jerusalem sa mga panagarap ko. Samantalang ang dahilan naman ng pagpunta ni Ignacio sa lugar na ito ay maihahambing ko naman sa mga sariling dahilan kung bakit ako nangangarap.
Ano ang aking Jerusalem?
Maging presidente ng Pilipinas! ‘Yan talaga ang pangarap ko. ‘Yan ang Jerusalem ko. Ang dami kong pinagdaanan para marating sana ang pangarap na ‘yan. Sumali ako sa mga organisasyon sa paaralan ko nung ako ay nasa elementarya at sekundarya. Naging pangulo ako ng student government ng aming paaralan. Namuno ako sa maraming mga gawaing pampaaralan na magbibigay ng higit na kaginhawahan at kaayusan ng katayuan ng mga kapwa ko mag-aaral noon.
Bukod dito, galing din ako sa pamilya ng mga politiko. Naging kapitan ng Baranggay ang lolo ko (sumalangit nawa) at baranggay tanod naman ang isa kong tiyuhin. Mabibigat talaga ang pusisyon ng mga kamag-anak ko sa pulitika!
Naisip ko, kung talagang gusto kong maging pangulo, mabuting kumuha ako ng law sa kolehiyo upang maihanda ako nang maigi. Pero may mga turko at Franciscano rin sa buhay ko. Ang pinakamalaking hadlang, kahirapan. Ni hindi ako sigurado kung mapag-aaral ako ng magulang ko sa kolehiyo. Kung gaano kahirap, mahabang kwentuhan ‘yan. Basta ganito ang kalagayan ko dati, sa iskwaters area kami nakatira, na noong una’y wala kuryente (sa loob ng isang taon) at wala kaming kubeta (sa loob ng isa’t kalahating taon at kailangan mong tiisin ang sakit ng tiyan at maglakbay ng kalahating kilometro para makadumi nang matiwasay sa bahay ng tiyahin ko). Sa madaling-sabi, kailangan kong bitawan ang aking Jerusalem.
Pero katulad ni Ignacio, hindi puwedeng hindi ko ito maisilang. Binalikan ko ang dahilan ng aking Jerusalem, ang dahilan ng aking pangrap, ang dahilan kung bakit ko gustong maging pangulo. At ito ay ang aking sariling krusada sa paglaban sa kahirapan. Sawa na akong maging mahirap at alam kong ito rin ang nararamdaman ng karamihan sa bayang ito. Ito ‘yung pinagbubuntis ko, ito ‘yung gusto ko sanang maipanganak sa sarili kong Jerusalem. Pero hindi ko nalasap, ni bahagyang narating ang aking Jerusalem.
Hindi man ako naging pangulo, nagguro ako (sa paaralang humuhubog sa magiging pinuno ng bayan). Upang hindi mamatay o masayang ang mga adhikaing naging dahilan ng aking Jerusalem.
At katulad ng nagleleybor na buntis… hindi rin ako makatitiis na hindi ito maisilang. Kung hindi man sa mahusay na ospital, kahit sa dyip o sa traysikel o sa kariton ko ito isilang. Ayos lang. Basta buhay at masigla. …Kahit hindi sa Jerusalem.
Naglalakbay noon si Ignacio patungong Barcelona nang siya’y napadaan sa isang ilog na pangala’y Cardoner sa bayan ng Manresa. Mayroon doong kuweba. Sumilong siya roon ng ilang araw ngunit di niya akalaing lalagi pa siya ng sampung buwan. Sa kuwebang iyon, ibinigay ni Ignacio ang kanyang sarili sa matinding pagdarasal at pagsakripisyo. Doon niya isinulat ang kanyang Spiritual Exercises. Sa tabi ng Cardoner, nagkaroon ng pangitain si Ignacio. Ang pangitaing iyon ay tuwirang nakapagbago ng kanyang pananaw sa buhay at sa ugnayan nito sa ibang nilalang. Mula noon, mas nakita niya ang lahat ng bagay, pangyayari at tao sa kasaysayan ng mundo na may hayagang ugnayan sa Diyos na may likha ng lahat. Bagama’t habambuhay itinago ni Ignacio ang patungkol sa yaong pangitain, maraming naniniwala na ang Diyos mismo ang kanyang nakita’t nakatagpo sa panahong iyon.
Maganda ang karanasan ni Ignacio sa Manresa. Mas nakilala niya ang Diyos at ang kanyang sarili. Ngunit hindi niya piniling manatili doon habambuhay. Ang manlalakbay na Ignacio ay umalis ng Manresa at ipinagpatuloy ang kanyang paglalakbay. Oo, mas nakilala niya ang Diyos at ang kanyang sarili sa Manresa ngunit nakilala rin niya ang plano ng Diyos sa kanyang buhay.
Naalaala ko, noong papatapos na ang aking 30-day retreat sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, nakaramdam ako ng munting kalungkutan nang mawari kong magtatapos na itong katahimikan. Ngunit naranasan ko rin ang matinding pananabik na bumalik sa mundo upang subukang gawin ang kanyang kalooban. Gaya ng Manresa, at tulad ni Ignacio, inihanda ako ng Diyos sa loob ng tatlumpung araw sa Sacred Heart Novitiate.
Kasagsagan noon ng pagputok ng mga balita tungkol sa napakaraming iskandalo ng simbahan at ng mga pari nito. Hindi ko makakalimutan noong tinanong ako ng aking superior, Madz, hindi maganda ang itsura ng Simbahan ngayon, maraming iskandalo itong hinaharap, may mga lumalabas sa pagpapari at halos wala na, sa mga kabataan, ang may nais na maging tulad natin.
Kaya ako narito, sagot ko, kung parang isang napakalaking barko na lumulubog ang Simbahan ngayon, kalooban ng Diyos na ako’y manatili anuman ang mangyari. Kahit hindi ito madali, dahil naniniwala ako sa kanya, ako’y tatalima.
Mahalaga ang mga Manresa ng ating buhay. Para itong mga ”stop-overs” kung saan naririnig natin ng malinaw ang ating Diyos sa pamamagitan ng pakikinig sa ating sarili. Dito natin naalaala ang mga kwento ng Diyos sa ating buhay, kung paano niya tayo minamahal. At dito natin nalalaman ang kanyang kalooban.
Months before I said “Yes” when I was asked to become the next APSA, I remember a conversation I had with my predecessor, Mr. Jun Balmaceda. He said something along these lines (which I have roughly translated): “The challenges of the APSA Office at times seem insurmountable, and it takes a little craziness to maintain sanity in dealing with them.”
I knew what I was getting into. I will need to look after over two thousand students. I will need to listen to the complaints of parents. I will immerse myself in their problems. I will need to take care of over two hundred faculty members. I will deal with issues spanning about three generations. There will be problems that I can anticipate and prepare for, and those that I won’t even see coming.
Then I figured that each and every one of us is faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges from time to time. And they do not have to be problems associated with work. They can come in the form of losing a loved one in a tragic event. Maybe you found out that your husband or your wife is having an affair and your family is falling apart. Maybe you made a wrong investment, and now you can’t pay for your children’s tuition fees. In any case, maybe Mr. Balmaceda’s advice has a lot of wisdom: taking these problems too seriously would make us go insane. People who really know me would say I have no problem with going a little crazy. There are times when it’s hard to distinguish if I am serious or not. But what I would like to share in this Mass is a weapon I have found more effective in facing these challenges than just a little craziness. That weapon, is a way of prayer.
Since last a retreat I attended last May, prayer for me has no longer been a monologue that I hope God would hear. I have discovered that it can be a dialogue where I can hear what God is telling me. But it is something that is not automatic for me, especially when I have a lot of things on my mind. So I began to study the conditions that allow this to happen. Here are the steps that I follow:
1. Pray for God’s grace. Use a formula prayer or read a Bible passage for the day. Pray that God will speak to you and that you will hear it.
2. Clear your mind from all your thoughts and worries. In this process you may be reminded that everything in this world is only temporary. Just be aware of your present environment. You can close your eyes and rely on your other senses. Be conscious of your breathing, and with each breath thank the Holy Spirit for giving you this life.
3. A reflection guide will always helpful. Write your thoughts and feelings in a notebook. It can be about the passage that you read. It can be about your answers to some guide questions. It can be about anything. You can even draw if you like.
4. Just wait for the grace to come. But when it happens, how do you know if it is God or something you just conjured from your unconscious? You will know when you hear something that did not come from you. You will be moved to tears. For some you will be moved through uncontrollable laughter, or maybe even music. There will be a surge of emotion that will creep in and take over. And then things will become clear. The seemingly insurmountable challenges before you will become the blueprint of God’s plan. You will feel energized, like a battery that could run forever. At that point, try to write everything as fast as you could. Not that you’re going to forget God’s word, but so you can go back to the experience from time to time.
5. Close the experience with a prayer. It can be a formula prayer. Or it can be something you just made up, like this:
Lord, I remember a homily given by our former chaplain, Fr. Rudy Fernandez. He said that when Mary responded with the magic word ‘Yes,’ God was set loose into the world. And the blind began to see, the deaf began to hear, the mute began to speak. When I said ‘Yes’ to this tremendous responsibility of becoming the APSA, I knew this wasn’t about me anymore. I am going to let you loose into this community. Use me as Your instrument, and let’s make some beautiful music.
We all know that Inigo de Loyola was born into a noble family and that he trained to become a highly esteemed soldier. We know that he met his misfortune in a battle against France in Pamplona when a cannon ball struck him, wounding one leg and breaking the other. Because the French soldiers admired his courage, they carried him back to recuperate at his home, the Castle of Loyola, rather than to prison.
His leg was set but did not heal, so it was necessary to break it again and reset it, all without anesthesia. But then, a bone protruded below the knee, and one leg was shorter than the other. It was an ugly sight and was unacceptable to this vain soldier, who considered it a fate worse than death not to be able to wear a knight’s long, tight-fitting boots.
Ignatius ordered the doctors to saw off the offending knob of bone and lengthen the leg, again, without anesthesia. He bore that terrible pain for the sake of his appearance and his future.
Ignatius had to rest and let his wound heal for 7 months. Extremely bored, he checked out the library and found only a copy of the life of Christ and a book on the saints. The more he read, the more he was inspired by the exploits of the saints, which he found worth imitating.
At the same time, he continued to have daydreams of fame and glory, of street duels, of boasting and daring and the image of a perfect knight.
But something happened. Ignatius noticed that after reading and thinking of Christ and the saints, he was filled with peace and tranquility. And when he finished his long worldly daydreams of military service and exploits, he would feel unsatisfied and restless.
Ignatius found himself torn between two loves.
He weighed his two conflicting desires and through hours and hours of meditation. He realized that in his pursuit of honor and esteem by the world, he was hiding from God, fleeing from Him. Jesus touched him and set his heart on fire, inspiring him to turn to God and become a “pilgrim” to find his life.
This is where and how St. Ignatius’ conversion began – in pain and in silence.
Have we similarly experienced pain – the loss of a job, a loved one, physical injury or sickness, betrayal by a loved one, loneliness and desperation?
When we are stripped of things that we have become attached to, and seemingly alone, we are brought to an opportunity to be silent and hear the voice of God inside of us.
On September 26, last year, rains that poured continuously for hours caused floodwaters to rise close to the ceiling of our home. It took two days before the floodwaters of Ondoy receded and we were able to go to our house. I was not prepared for the damage that met my eyes. Everything – the house, the garden, furniture, clothes, appliances – everything was coated in foul-smelling mud. Three of our cars had been completely submerged in floodwaters. We felt we were stripped of our material things. It caused us all a lot of pain. But in silence and in prayer, we turned to God as the true and only source of security. The biggest lesson we learned was that material things come and go, but what matter most are family, our love for one another and the Sprit of God that gives us the strength to endure difficulties and continue to hope.
We have learned that the gifts that God has given to us are not to be kept but shared with others. Nothing is really ever ours.
Like St Ignatius, we learn to accept all that happen to us, to be humble, and to be obedient to God’s will.
